Even for die-hards and true believers, the baseball season can be a slog. Luckily, this year's Toronto Blue Jays roster—the most hope-inducing in decades—boasts such a rich collection of literary-style backstories and archetypes, you can be sure the narratives will be compelling, even if the numbers aren't.

Mary MacLane's I Await the Devil's Coming is a declaration of loneliness, restlessness, and narcissism—the same angst that binds teenagers from the turn of the century to the age of Dirty Girls.

Is there any reason why midwives and nurses—who would allow women greater control over their reproductive life—shouldn't perform abortions?

This is our sixth installment of Tabloid Fiction, in which an author chooses from the trashiest, most lurid, or just bizarre stories of the moment and writes a short story inspired by same.