The Hazlitt Offensive: Katie Crouch

By Hazlitt

Our new, trademark pending, Hazlitt questionnaire.

Katie Crouch is the New York Times bestselling author of Girls in Trucks, a MacDowell Fellow, an essayist, and teacher at San Francisco State University. She has written for the Guardian, McSweeney’s, Tin House, Slate, Salon, and the Rumpus. Her most recent novel, Abroad, is about modern girlhood, longing, and recklessness.

1. What are three words you associate with your first relationship?
Infatuation. Beauty. Skin.

2. What’s the worst thing you ever did for money?
Write something I didn’t think was very good.

3. What’d you have for breakfast this morning?
Coffee, black. I’ve been sitting too much and have gotten a little too pear-y. No pancakes for a while.

4. How do you feel about Joni Mitchell?
Goddess.

5. How did you learn what sex was?
Guiding Light. My nanny watched it every day at three. Though I was misguided. I thought sex was hugging naked on bearskin until 16.

6. Who do you consider the funniest person in the world—that we would know?
John Cleese.

7. What’s the worst insult you’ve ever said?
Him: “I love you.”
Me: “How nice!”

8. What’s a deal breaker for someone you’re in a relationship or in love with?
I don’t have any. I’ve always been a sucker.