The Great John Waters, the Baked Maureen Dowd

By Hazlitt

Maureen Dowd: hopped up on goofballs.

“This one dude, I threw a candle in his face, then my friend took his side. Says I could have blinded him.” “A lit candle?” “Hell yeah, a lit candle.” McSweeney’s has an excerpt from “Palatka,” a story from his John Brandon’s new collection, Further Joy, which you can buy now, and probably should.

“[The show] really is, in kind of like a John Malkovich way, being inside my own head.” Douglas Coupland talks to the Globe and Mail about his new Vancouver art exhibition, which consists of, among other things, “toy guns … tiny cribs and toilets … [and] a giant molar.”

“I wasn’t strong enough to tell myself it was okay, and I walked around with that kind of filthy, filthy embarrassment cloak on for a few years.” Jenny Slate on Obvious Child and getting fired from SNL.

John Waters, you glorious creature.

How a meme becomes a myth.

...We were warned.

Heather Havrilesky offers Rob Lowe's books some unlikely praise. Drew Barrymore, on the other hand, "[informs us], rather solemnly and with a faint air of clinical detachment, that hearts 'have no negativity.' In fact, a heart is 'nature saying, ‘I love you.’”

Choire, Choire Choire, Choire we love you.

Malcolm Gladwell is legit super sad and bummed out about Amazon's betrayal which, to Malcolm Gladwell, was a personal betrayal.

The times when Toronto is great.

All is lost. All is lost. All is lost. All is lost. All is lost. All is lot. All is lost. All is lost. All is lost. All is lost.