Look Like Marge Simpson, Zipline with Happy Kanye

By Hazlitt

Teju Cole on the schoolgirls held captive by Boko Haram.

As Hazlitt pal Clive Thompson writes, when people don’t check their work email in the evening or on weekends, their satisfaction with their jobs jumps considerably without any loss of productivity. Think about the next time you take work home just to “finish or catch up” on things.

Fox News uses footage of “random sad Asians” to cover the Korean ferry tragedy.

Wild Bunch, a French production company made up of insane people, has greenlit a Spring Breakers sequel to be written by Irvine Welsh and directed by the guy who directed Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” video, along with new films from Gaspar Noe and Paul Verhoeven.

Marge Simpson is getting her own makeup line because MAC ruins everything.

“By the time the storm reached New Jersey, photos suggested the entire Eastern Seaboard had become a modern-day Atlantis. A shark swam in the streets of New Jersey. An enormous tidal wave crashed over the Statue of Liberty. A scuba diver navigated a flooded Brooklyn subway station less than a mile from my apartment. Of course, these photos were all fake.” Can an algorithm solve Twitter’s credibility problem?

No one actually know what the Met Gala is or what it does, but this is, without a doubt, the best photo from it.

It’s been 10 years since the Friends finale, and apparently some people are still having a lot of feelings about this show featuring six people with inexplicably giant apartments.

Speaking of the ’90s: in the new Vanity Fair, Monica Lewinsky writes about her cruel, sexist casting as the Scarlet Woman after her affair with Bill Clinton.

An anonymous academic called out an anonymous big-shot philosopher for being, at the very least, a big-time cad, if not worse. She then published a detailed addendum. Whatever the case, the affair speaks to very real issues of status and power abuse in academia, as anywhere.

Mmm, sorry, the novel is still not read.

Advice to would-be writers: marry rich.

As it turns out, people are less scandalized when Louis C.K. sleeps with attractive women on his show than when Lena Dunham sleeps with attractive men on hers.

“The repressive, hypermasculine bro that stalks your local watering hole and pisses in the street is a modern, anxious manifestation of homosexual panic, an allergic reaction to the mainstreaming of gay culture.”

Grammar snobs: oppressive, otherwise exasperating.

Kanye West is not a sad zipliner.

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