Seinfeld2000, Adam Levine, And Defending Your White Privilege

By Hazlitt

Here is a video of a girl hitting another girl in the head with a shovel.

On how sucky speech recognition software is.

They paved parking lots and put up a, well, no, I wouldn’t call it a paradise, but it’s better than parking lots.

The 2014 Toronto Comic Arts Festival just released their entire programming line-up, and as always, it’s a doozy.

“McMillan’s conviction offers an unambiguous answer to that popular and rhetorical chant levied at police lines during Occupy protests: “Who do you protect? Who do you serve?” The court’s reply is clear: systems of power and their NYPD guardians will be coddled with impunity, while protesters will be beaten, broken, and jailed.”

The lesson that mass extinction is normal is hard to accept.”

Privilege non-checker and Princeton freshman Tal Fortgang doesn’t believe that being a white male has helped him at all, even though he was permitted to air his views by a paper that runs off energy farmed from the collective whines and groans of privileged white people (ie. an institute dedicated to advancing conservatism on college campuses).

The New York Times profiles Jason Richards, the man behind mildly amusing twitter parody account @Seinfeld2000.

A former whistleblower who ended up working at a big box store (fake name: “Bullseye”) after blowing his whistle talks about his experience working at minimum wage.

Tattoos, slowed down.

Who says Wes Anderson doesn’t make films for the common people? Probably the guy whose charging $1298 for a chance to see The Grand Budapest Hotel ON A CRUISE.

“I do find it fascinating whenever anyone responds to the collection by suggesting its preoccupation with its own wounds—not because I disagree (I am preoccupied with my own wounds) but because I disagree with leveling this kind of accusation: why shouldn’t we be preoccupied with our own hurt? We should just do our best to let these preoccupations spur us into productive kinds of attention and action.”

Who knew? Lynxes sound like barfing freshmen.

“I left behind a lonely little girl—who is now 23 years old—who needed me. I spent the first four months of my life sentence in a county jail, where the beds were like hard rocks, the food hardly edible, the drinks always room temperature, and I was only really allowed one secret: I knew there was not one person in my cell block dealing with more time than me.” Sharanda Jones has served 15 years in prison for a drug crime. Here in the Guardian, she asks for clemency.

Floppy disks from 1985 containing never-before-seen digital artwork by Andy Warhol have been discovered in Pittsburgh, commissioned by Commodore International to show off the graphics capabilities of the Amiga 1000 personal computer, on which the pieces were created.

“Guess what: He don’t know he’s California-bred, and I don’t care if he knows it or not.” On California Chrome, winner of Saturday’s Kentucky Derby.

Here is Hazlitt’s official, 100% genuine take on Adam Levine’s new hair: not a good decision, but it might grow on us. Did we mention we’re genuinely interested in Adam Levine as an artist and individual and feel no shame in admitting we find him attractive?